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The Company of My Self

The company of myself is better than any podcast, I've concluded. True peace has never been found in culture or media, sports or the tabloids.

What I seek is a good night's rest, and my own authentic company.

Pushing off of thoughts to go beyond them.

When I accompany myself, I wonder which of the two (the "I" or the "myself") is more interested in working toward awakening, and which is more interested in thinking about it.

Don't kid yourself, spiritual/contemplative practice involves a lot of doing and hard work! But it may only be work, per se, because it goes against the grain of what we are used to. That makes what is ultimately "non-work" feel like work.

There is, in fact, a "doing" when it comes to mindfulness practice. But the amount that it feels like we are working or doing is directly proportional to the degree we are in some way resisting our experience.

The less we resist the more there is to experience undisturbed "being."

And then the hard work has a completely different flavor and tone. It goes from the hard work of feeling what it's like to dwell in and go against the grain of our habits/patterns to the hard work of not letting up on the practice of "being" once that truth has been experienced!

This journey it seems to me is a continual shedding of who we think we are.

It is a renunciation of the thoughts and actions and beliefs that no longer serve us. Former selves give way to a true self.

Yet, how messy we all are, but how deep our heart's yearning to simply be at peace with one self, unmoved by any temptation for a new podcast or a smart phone's LED screen.


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